Desire

My post today is about something that has been deep within me since my childhood: the desire to be a Godly wife and mother.

Growing up my Mom, whom I love and respect more now than ever, was a stay at home wife and mother. She took on part time jobs to supplement my dad's income and help out with gifts but mostly she tended to us (there are three) and our many pets (we had horses, dogs, goats, birds, chickens, you name it!). It wasn't easy for or on her but it was wonderful to have her there, always with us.

Sadly, she and my MIL are the only women I know personally that were stay at home Moms. I have met many wonderful women through following blogs who stay at home with there children, raising them, teaching them and mostly loving them.

I so desire this lifestyle! I want more children (I only have one sweet ds) and to be at home with them teaching them how to live for God! I know there must be other women out there who feel this way, yet have to work outside of the home and put their children in daycare and public school. My husband doesn't understand. I have worked the numbers upside and downside and we cannot afford to live off my hubbys salary alone, plus when I was on maternity leave with our ds he nearly went crazy worrying about the money. I couldn't dare put him through that kind of stress when I could easily help out with the income.

What do we do about our desire to be home?
As I was praying on this last night (forgive me if I've bored you to this point!) I came to a revelation of sorts...
Titus 2:5 reads:
5to be sensible, pure, (H)workers at home, kind, being (I)subject to their own husbands, (J)so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
If I am working for the betterment of our home in good and honest profession I am being a worker at home! I am being subject to my hubby! I am honoring God! I realized that at this season in our life I must do what any Godly wife would do by bringing in a salary to help keep our home, to help buy groceries, to give us the security of being able to go to the doctor when we are sick. I am selfish and I am working on that, but I think am where God wants me to be. I must make myself understand (the hardest part!) this. I'll keep praying until I do!

Blessings 'yall! Jess

A FEW THINGS ABOUT ME - BLOG PARTY

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging?

Water (and maybe some chips)
2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without?
God in my life

3. Beach, Mountains or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?
Farm, if I could stay at home with the babies and tend to the farm I would be completely happy!

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?
Right now it is vacuuming. This is usually my favorite chore but latley my 2year old ds wants to "help" and we both wind up crying!

5. Who do people say you remind them of?
Don't have a clue!

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam?
Home with the Family. I don't like being in big crowds.

7. What's your all time favorite movie?
Cold Mountain, the romance of waiting and wondering while he tries his best to return...

8. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night?
Ususally forget to put it on in the first place!

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?
I love making clothes!

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?
Cleaning under stuff (my house can be covered in dust but under the dressers and beds are spottless! kind of obsession I can't explain)

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?
His kindness

12. What is something you love to smell?
Clean laundry and my ds after his bath, oh yeah and my hubby when he gets home from a hard day at work... I guess that's three things but they are all so differant!

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.
my "correcting". We live in the south (I was born and raised here) but I don't talk like it. It gets on my hubby's last nerve when I correct his speech.

14. When you have extra money (HA!) what's the first thing you think to do with it?
Usually buy something for my ds or dh.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?
LOL! I love a good belly laugh!

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?
The Cloth Barn (a local fabric shop)

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time?
Spend time with my family. I wish I could be a stay at home mom and have more kids.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?
Frugal!

19. Who is your favorite character of all time (from a movie or book)? (Can't be real)
Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov from Crime & Punishment. I've read it too many times!

you want to be famous?
nope... I wouldn't like it a bit!

You can visit Lynnette's party here: http://lynnettekraft.blogspot.com/

A BAPTISM IN TIME...

This past Sunday one of the young boys in my church was baptised and announced he was ready to give his life to the Lord. Watching this brought back a flood of memories from my own baptismal.

It was a big ceremony and several of us from young (I believe the youngest was 7) to old took the path of Christ that day. My sister and myself included. I was terrified that I would look stupid in front of the congregation. Those pre-teen years are so funny with things like that. I expected to feel different. Like the weight of the world was lifted and I could jump for the first time! Unfortunately I just felt wet and soggy. I was 11 and wanted that special thing that we all look for so hard only to find it in our own hearts!

It has been 13 years since then and a whole lot has happened! Just recently I feel as though I have really taken that baptism seriously. I think I should have waited but then I wonder if it would have ever caught me if I had (kind of like taking a year off from school only to realize that I'm 24, a wife and a Mom, oops!). Maybe I'm not thinking about it right, maybe it's just the symbol, the path has to already be set and this is just letting everyone know your choice.

1 Peter 3:21-22
21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also–not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge† of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
22 who has gone into heaven and is at God's right hand–with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

This past year has really changed my perspective. I've really and truly found God in my life. I've opened myself to him and hope to learn more everyday. 13 years is a long time for something to "kick" in. I've gotten married, it was a good christian wedding, but I didn't really get it. Last year I had our first son. His birth was a wonderful thing. I have spent countless hours since trying to figure out how to be the best mother possible. This has led me to God. I cannot be a good mother (or wife, daughter, etc.) with out Him. I can't love my son until I love Jesus. Wow. How simple!

Back to Sunday afternoon...
I wondered about this boy, I don't really know him other than from seeing him in church. He seems quite. I couldn't really know. All I know is that he has openly and willingly given his life to Christ. He has been forgiven and cleansed. Now all he has to do is open the door to God. That knocking in the background shouldn't be ignored! I hope he doesn't wait as long as I did.

I know this has been random...I'll try better to stay on task.

Blessings,

Jess